Down by The River with Capt. Jim

Installing Green, Green Engines

2010-02-04T14:39:00.007-06:00

What do you do all winter? Riverboat captains on the frozen Upper Mississippi River are pummeled with that question through the off-season.

This winter something very special is happening aboard the 360-passenger riverboat Anson Northrup. Little green men are hoisting four giant diesel engines from the bowels of the sturdy steel ship in preparation for dropping in four brand new green, green engines -- green for their low environmental impact and, of course, green for the trademark color of their Iowa heritage at the John Deere factory. OK, I stretched the point a bit with the green men, but you get the point.

Installation of the Northrup's new, greener engines is funded in part by the largest of more than 60 grants awarded from the American Reinvestment and Recovery Act through the Minnesota Pollution Control Agency. Removal of the old engines and installation of the advanced, high efficiency models is being done by the Padelford engineering staff.

The M/V Anson Northrup will feature new tier 2 electronic diesel engines with newly designed after-market technology systems and engines that provide significant reductions in pollutants such as fine particles and nitrogen oxides. The clean diesel repower will result in major reductions in fuel consumption and emissions.

Padelford Packet Boat Company has been an advocate of clean water and clean air since our inception in 1969. In fact, the M/V Jonathan Padelford, an authentic paddlewheel riverboat built in 1969, boasts a unique propulsion system that was ahead of its time and continues to provide service with minimal environmental impact.

Fall on the Mississippi River

2009-08-24T16:30:00.002-05:00

If there is a better time of year to leave the world behind and vanish into wonders of nature along the timeless currents of the Father of Waters I can't imagine anything better than the fall. Fall is the time when birds gather for their annual flight south along the Mississippi Flyway and nature paints the riverbanks with a pallet of orange, red and yellow hues atop the greens of summer. There is no better way to see, feel, hear and touch nature's wonderland than aboard a Padelford Riverboat. Every cruise is different as the river flows and nature reveals her secrets.

Memorial Day Tribute

2009-05-16T10:33:00.003-05:00

On Memorial Day 2009 Padelford Riverboats is hosting 2,600 passengers as a salute to the military in celebration of our 40th Anniversary celebration. Thinking of Memorial Day turns my thoughts to a recent visit our family took to Normandy, France with my father-in-law, Capt. William D. Bowell, Sr., who parachuted behind enemy lines on D-Day. The following article tells about that remarkable opportunity we had in 2005 to retrace his World War II adventure.

Capt. Bowell & Family Revisit D-Day Experience

2009-05-06T23:07:00.000-05:00

As the brutal winds of an early Minnesota winter shrouded the empty, predawn roadway to the Minneapolis airport warm feelings of our impending flight to Europe already had begun to invade our senses. Little did we know just how strong the imprint of this voyage was to be on our lives.

PHOTO CAPTION: Capt. Bowell embraces his daughters Beth Myers and Shelley Kosmo as they visit the battle ground at Omaha Beach.

It was October 2005 when Shelley and I had the grand opportunity to accompany her father as he retraced his footsteps from the June 6, 1944 D-Day Invasion of Normandy, France. Her sister Beth Myers, cousins John and Steve Bowell and their spouses Bobby Myers and Laurie and Cindy Bowell as well as family friends Dorothy Calabrese and Paul and Caroline Verret accompanied us. Paul, former president of the Saint Paul Foundation, grew close to our family upon realization of the fact that his uncle, Capt. John “Chappie” Verret, had been chaplain in Bill’s army regiment. Fr. Verret died in battle while assisting an injured soldier only 100 feet from Bowell.

Shelley’s dad, Capt. William D. Bowell Sr., Inc., jumped into Normandy in northern France near Sainte-Mere-Eglise with the 82nd Airborne on June 6, 1944, D-Day. An army private at the time, Bill rose to the rank of sergeant during the war. He became a captain much later in life as a civilian by earning a passenger vessel license from the U.S. Coast Guard to serve as a Mississippi Riverboat pilot. He founded the Padelford Packet Boat Co., Inc. in 1970.

During the D-Day Invasion Bill jumped from a Douglas C-47 troop transport after many months training in England. He landed behind enemy lines when the plane was shot down and took refuge in a barn where he was fed and assisted by a French family even as Nazi soldiers passed through the yard. Like most of those in his unit Bowell found himself in the midst of numerous battles, some virtually nose-to-nose with German soldiers. Unlike many of his buddies, Bowell survived all of his close encounters, although injured twice, and lived to tell his story. Once he walked around the corner of a French farmhouse and literally ran into a German soldier. Bowell fired first and the German soldier ran off.

We traveled to that French farmhouse, met the son of the family that protected Bill from the Germans and visited the battlefields and cemeteries where the blood of thousands of Americans altered the course of history. Standing in the loft of the very barn where he hid under a pile of hay as German soldiers walked below was a breathtaking experience. Talking with this amicable, easy-going farm family that could just as easily have come from Scandia, MN as La Fiere, France, it was difficult to imagine the horror that had reined upon their country in 1944.

The farm actually is quite large and has several sizeable stone structures including the house and barn. It was especially amazing to realize that the farmhouse was constructed in the 15th century, about the time Columbus came to America. Our host, Gerald Lemiere is the son of the couple that risked their lives to assist Bowell.

After his 1944 jump into France Bowell joined up with a handful of paratroopers. Despite a language barrier a farmer was able to point out their location on a map, about 25 miles from their target, but 61 years later Bowell realizes that error actually may have saved his life because the intended landing zone had been flooded by the Nazis and surround by hostile forces. Many of those who landed in the designated drop zone drowned, died in battle or were captured.

“The first day we found a hidden spot and stayed there until nightfall,” he explains. “We headed north through orchards and a maze of hedgerows. Near dawn we ran into the Douve River with no way to cross. The only bridge was heavily guarded by the Germans.”

Bowell slipped through a field to a prosperous-looking farm with gray stone buildings. There he encountered Gerald Lemiere’s mother tending to her garden in the midst of the battle zone. Upon identifying himself as an American soldier Bowell was greeted with a shriek of joy as she pulled him into the farmhouse and explained that they were part of the French underground. They offered him food, a place to sleep and instructions on how to join up with his unit. Bowell brought his men to the farmhouse where they spent the night hiding in the barn. The next day they were taken to another farm where arrangements were made for a boat to take them across the river.

“Much to our surprise, about 40 more paratroopers led by a lieutenant colonel were waiting at the boat. The boat carried five men and each trip across took 30 minutes. By daylight more than half the men had reached the other side, so it was necessary to wait for cover of night.”

Bowell and his buddies made it across the river but not without encountering enemy troops and engaging in a pitched two-hour battle. When one soldier shouted that the Germans were flanking their position Bowell, a marksman, climbed a small knoll and spotted a squad of enemy soldiers advancing toward their position. “Oddly, a movie about Sgt. York in World War I came to mind,” Bowell recalls. “When caught in a position similar to Bowell’s Sgt York had recalled his hunting days in west Virginia when he learned that to shoot turkeys it was best to start at the back of the line and work forward to keep the front turkeys from seeing what was happening. So, just like Sgt. York, that’s what I did. I shot the last six enemy soldiers in the line. Then bullets started raining on my position. Next I saw bombs falling nearby and each one was coming closer. It was time to leave.”

Just as the small band of American paratroopers was about to be overrun by the enemy a U.S. Army battalion arrived and drove off the Germans. Bowell was among 12 of the original 45 paratroopers to survive. Injured he trudged back to the rear for medical assistance.

“German dead were strewn along either side of the road. Some of the men picked souvenirs off the bodies. The remains of American paratroopers were there, too. The dead who lay around us had little effect on us. It was necessary to steel ourselves against any softening. At times it was a very difficult thing to do.”

After a brief stint recovering at the rear Bowell returned to battle where he suffered a shrapnel wound and was evacuated to England to mend again and then went back into action in the Battle of the Bulge.

Amfreville, one of the tiny French towns the 82nd Airborne liberated in 1944, has a large monument to the 507th PIR but the small community has little money to improve and maintain the memorial. On our 2005 visit Bill presented two new U.S. flags to Amfreville Mayor Alain Maitre to replace the worn flag he had seen on an earlier visit.

Next we traveled to Graignes, another small city in Normandy with a similar war history. We were scheduled to have lunch with Mayor M. David Small , but as an elementary school teacher he had only a limited time for lunch. He invited us to visit his classroom before lunch to meet with his students and answer their questions. Our entourage arrived at the neat little school where 16 hungry minds drilled Capt. Bowell with questions. Inasmuch as virtually every one of the students had relatives with direct war experience they had extensive knowledge and excellent questions. The old soldier held court with the youngsters and it was truly difficult to determine who enjoyed the exchange the most.

From Graignes we went to lunch with two sisters who were featured in a recent television movie and are recipients of awards from both the French and American governments for their acts of extreme heroism during the war. Odette and Martha were only 12 and 16 years of age in 1944 but their actions were heroic beyond their years. U.S. paratroopers descended into the swamps surrounding Colleville during the night July 6. With the area teeming with enemy soldiers the Americans escaped to the high ground and took refuge in a small church that became a hospital, sanctuary and lookout. Unfortunately, much of their ammunition and weapons was left behind in the fields and swamps nearby.

Learning of the problem Odette and Martha repeatedly walked past enemy soldiers with two wheelbarrows, gathered the weapons and ammunition and brought them to the Americans. Amazingly, none of the German soldiers ever looked under the hay in the wheelbarrows as the two young women made trip after trip from the fields to the church. Once the GIs had enough weapons and ammunition Odette and Martha led them to the nearby river where they helped them across a few at a time in a small rowboat. Across the river they were able to join up with the main U.S. force and ultimately return to their unit. The two heroines survived, but the Germans murdered many of the town’s residents before the Americans could retake the city.

After visits to the killing fields at Omaha Beach and Utah Beach, where the broken guns, shattered concrete bunkers and pock-marked terrain stand today as living testimony to the bloody battles of 1944, we visited the American Cemetery, Colleville-sur-Mer, overlooking the sea. The military cemetery that is owned and maintained by the U.S. has 9,387 American military graves each marked with a stark white cross. Among the more notable graves are those of the two brothers of Private Ryan (not their real name) who was subject of a major motion picture staring Tom Hanks. The two brothers were killed in separate battles one day apart. Also interred at Colleville-sur-Mer is Brigadier General Theodore Roosevelt Jr., a Medal of Honor soldier who refused a command order not to accompany his men into battle.

At the cemetery Capt. Bowell was given the honor of receiving the U.S. flag as it was lowered. After folding and presenting the colors to end the day he turned abruptly toward the 9,387 white crosses, stood at a perfect attention and saluted his fallen comrades. Even the crusty old soldier/riverboat captain couldn’t hold back a tear.

Another touching event occurred at dinner one night in Bayeux, France where Capt. Bowell was regaling our group with war stories. A couple at the next table understood very limited English but detected enough to inquire about our group. Upon learning that Capt. Bowell had participated in the D-Day Invasion they came to our table, bought us champagne and embraced Capt. Bowell with a vigorous hug, normally an uncomfortable event for a staid Norwegian-American. The man from Belgium explained that his father had been imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp where he was rescued by the U.S. airborne. He thanked Capt. Bowell and the Americans profusely for saving the lives of his family and all of Belgium. The old soldier shed another tear.

The Belgian’s appreciation was very demonstrative, but not uncommon as we traveled through Normandy. In fact, although we had embarked upon our European voyage with some trepidation, we were greeted by nothing but smiles and grand acts of kindness throughout France, Italy and Spain on the streets, in restaurants and everywhere we went. The fear of anti-American sentiment was non-existent. Undoubtedly there are people throughout the world who dislike Americans, but we never saw them. The only unpleasant people we met were two Paris cab drivers, but that had nothing to do with our being Americans -- they just don’t like anyone.

Our 2005 Normandy invasion was made even more special by our guide, Jean-Baptiste Feuillye, aka “Bobbye”. Bobbye, who was featured in a USA-Today story recently was age 13 on June 5, 1944. He was lying in bed in his family’s 12th-Century stone farmhouse listening to the nightly cacophony of bombs and antiaircraft explosions when he detected the hum overhead of aircraft headed for the German lines. Shortly after midnight he heard a strange thump on the roof and then another and another. Racing outside he encountered a dozen American soldiers in his own yard.

“I was Americanized that day when the American angels dropped from the sky,” Bobbye recalls with great pride. “What surprised me the most was that you could not hear them. They walked quietly and talked in sign language or whispers, unlike the boisterous Germans, who you could hear half a mile away. The Americans were very silent. They did not act like warriors. They were more like hunters.”

The American soldiers adopted Bobbye as their unofficial “mascot” and, with his parents’ permission, took him along to help them learn the local terrain. They taught him English, made him a small American uniform and gave him the name Bobbye that he proudly uses to this day. After the war he kept in close contact with his soldier “buddies”, became a leading authority on all World War II information and traveled frequently to America. Bobbye’s constant stream of intriguing stories alone was well worth the trip to France.

Although our Normandy Invasion was far more enjoyable than Bill’s original voyage it too has generated memories that will last a lifetime.

40th Anniversary Events

2009-04-11T15:34:00.002-05:00

Padelford Riverboats is putting together a series of special events to thank our passengers and friends for 40 years of loyalty. There'll be prizes, free riverboat rides and something very special for wedding couples. Watch for details soon.

The Fishing is Great

2008-08-29T16:03:00.003-05:00

In the early 1980s only three species of rough fish called the section of the river passing through Minneapolis and St. Paul home but today after tremendous efforts by local, state and federal agencies to clean the river there are 29 species of fish, most are game fish. The Minnesota DNR pulled a gigantic 20-pound catfish out from under the Robert Street Bridge in July and the river is alive with fish and fishermen (and, women). Some of the fishers are big birds. We have numerous bald eagles visiting Harriet Island daily along with Peregrine Falcons, Hawks, Egrets and Great Blue Herons. Pictured here is a regular visitor to Padelford Landing who finds the fising just great. We call him "Henry Heron" because he is a big hitter on the Mississippi River in downtown St. Paul.

I Have A Mistress

2008-04-12T12:00:00.004-05:00

Before anything appears on the internet or other public forum I feel the need to confess that I have a mistress. My lovely wife Shelley is standing by holding my hand and lending her support in this time revelation. For several decades I have been unable to resist the mystical pull of an intoxicatingly beautiful, totally seductive temptress. She is lovely beyond mortal comprehension with a soothing, melodic enchantment that captures my heart and possesses my mind. But, alas like any passionate woman she occasionally erupts with a fury that rocks and batters even the strongest among us only to quickly calm and once again cast her paralyzing spell over us mere mortals.

My mistress is the Mississippi River, and Shelley concedes that she must share my passion.

Rotarians from Peru Ride First Trip

2008-04-12T11:50:00.004-05:00

In spite of the unusually cool, miserable spring weather the Betsey Northrup made the season's first voyage Tuesday, April 8, with a group of students from Andover, MN and five Rotary group exchange ambassadors from Peru. The visitors from Peru included a physician, veterinarian, architect, English teacher and hardward executive. They are in Minnesota for six weeks sponsored by local Rotary Clubs as part of an ongoing international cultural exchange. I truly enjoyed spending a few hours with these wonderful ambassadors of goodwill and friendship and gave them a tour of the Jonathan Padelford pilot house.

What Do You Do All Spring?

2008-04-12T11:19:00.006-05:00

When I described what we do all winter someone looked at the weather and asked, what do you do all spring? So far, mostly try to stay warm and get the boats ready.

Who stole spring? True believers know that warm weather eventually will arrive, but it surely is difficult to convince our crew as they fight numb digits to clean and prepare the riverboats for the arrival of passengers. Mother Nature has a strange way of always letting you know who really is in charge.

The river actually is quite low this spring, but we will not pray for rain because we know from experience that you sometimes get more than want. So, the moisture is appreciated but we have had it with the cool temperatures.

BBC Travels The River

2008-04-12T10:58:00.006-05:00

BBC correspondent Vince Hunt stopped at the Padelford Riverboats on chilly March day to talk about the Mighty Mississippi, it's steamboats and it's music. We were flattered to be included in Vince's tour from New Orleans to St. Paul (Saints to the Saint, as he noted). I brought along musical magician Dr. Tom Mega, a professor at St. Thomas University and long, long time riverboat musician with the Mississippi Minstrels, to expound on river music and all that jazz. Dr. T also is a pretty good photographer.

Vince began his six-week sojourn up the river in the Cresent city where he met with river legend Capt. Doc Hawley aboard the historic Natchez. Moving up river he stopped in Baton Rouge to see Capt. John Strekfus whose family has run the most famous riverboats in the country for nearly 200 years. He also visited with Capt. Joy Manthey and Capt. Tom Dunn in St. Louis before driving to St. Paul with a brief stop in Dubuque to visit the incredible National Rivers Hall of Fame Museum where our founder Capt. William D. Bowell, Sr. has a research library named in his honor. Before Vince headed to Chicago for meetings with a group of jazz musicians I took him to meet with Capt. Bowell. We're looking forward to hear Vince's reports from London.

What Do You Do All Winter?

2007-12-17T13:57:00.003-06:00

Anyone who works on the Mississippi River when the water gets hard inevitably will face the question, "What Do You Do All Winter?"

Obviously, without giant skis we don't run the big riverboats on the ice during winter months, but we are very busy. This is the time of year when sales are underway for the coming season and when we revitalize the boats.

Gabe, Tammy, Julie, Tracy, Shelley and Gus are working feverishly to meet with past customers, find new friends, attend trade shows and just make contact. Steve and I are assisting the Sales Dept. by creating new online videos for our website and as sales tools.

Out on the river Matt, Gary and Shevek are remodeling the main deck of the Jonathan Padelford. All the grinding, banging and sawing that is going on outside my window involves ripping out the old main deck bar to move it forward creating more room for the Catering Dept. and to update the bar itself. The crew also has removed all of the black leather, cushioned benches and is recovering them. All the brass lamps will be cleaned and polished, bulkheads (walls for ye landlubbers) scrubbed and painted and the carpets cleaned. The star of the Padelford fleet will be just like new for the 2008 riverboat season.

And, we're developing a few new items for next season.

Harriet Island Really Was an Island

2007-07-15T11:14:00.000-05:00

Memoirs from the Hysterical Historian

Harriet Island truly was an island until the 1950s when the U.S. Corps of Engineers filled in the back channel. In the early 1900s Harriet Island was the center of liesure activity for St. Paul residents with a zoo, picnic areas, ball field and the very popular bath houses. In those times indoor plumbing was still to come. Dr. Justus Ohage, St. Paul's public health director, owned Harriet Island where he built the bath houses to encourage better hygene as a major public health program. In his will Dr. Ohage left Harriet Island to the city with the stipulation that it be used only for public health and recreation (with great foresight, he stated that a riverboat operation was an acceptable use). Harriet Island was named for Harriet Bishop, St. Paul's first school teacher, who arrived at the tiny frontier village of St. Paul in 1847 aboard the riverboat Lynx.

Capt. Bill Bowell, founder of the Padelford Riverboat Co., as a young boy helped his father Ralph who ran a popcorn wagon on Harriet Island in the 1930s. Capt. Bowell launched his riverboat operation in 1970 and his daughters and nephew continue the family business today.

After $15 million in improvements Harriet Island is once again a major recreation spot in downtown St. Paul attracting nearly one million visitors annually for park events such as Taste of Minnesota and Irish Fair as well as the Padelford Riverboats, Minnesota Centennial Showboat Theatre, Covington Inn Bed & Breakfast, St. Paul Yacht Club, St. Paul Boat Club, Riverboat Grille, Wigginton Pavilion, and the Harriet Island Playground.

Padelford School Field Trip Wins Top Environmental Award

2007-06-05T17:11:00.002-05:00

Before nearly 400 guests at the annual Minnesota Environmental Initiative Awards May 17, 2007 at Nicollet Island Pavilion partners in the Big River Journey School Field Trip received the organization's top award. More than 100 agencies, organziations and businesses competed in the annual competition.

In addition to the top award for "Partnership of the Year" honors were given out for Natural Resource Protection, Green Business & Environmental Management, Green Building Develpment, Environmental Education and Air Quality & Climate Protection. The Padelford group was entered in the Environment Education competition and the partners initially were deeply disappointed when they did not win any of the top three awards in that category. Sorrow was replaced by an enthusiastic run to the podium when the top award was announced at the end of the night.

Big River Journey has given extensive environmental education to over 40,000 students in grades 4 to 6 over 10 years. The program features a Padelford Riverboat cruise with six learning stations staffed by environmental experts. The partnership also provides mandatory teacher training sessions, a year-long teaching guide and river stewardship.

Project partners include: National Park Service, Center for Global Environmental Education, Fort Snelling State Park, Friends of the Mississippi River, Historic Fort Snelling, U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service, Mississippi River Fund, Padelford Packet Boat Co., MN Dept. of Natural Resources, Science Museum of MN, and Shakopee Mdewakanton Sioux (Dakota) Community.

Nick Halter Wins Fellowship

2007-05-21T14:23:00.000-05:00

There's great excitement and extreme pride at Padelford Riverboats today with announcement that Capt. Nicholas Halter, who also is a Journalism student at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, has won the Devroy Fellowship and will spend his next winter break in Washington, D.C. working at the Washington Post. The Fellowship includes a three-week residency at The Post, $1,400 to defray costs and an internship with the Milwaukee Sentinel in the summer of 2008.

Halter was recipient of the Padelford's 2005 Fallon Bowell Scholarship -- obviously, we picked the right man for the job. The only bad news is that Nick, although he plans to be on the riverboats this summer, will be off pursuing Mark Twain's passion next year.

Ch 11 TV's Sven Takes A Riverboat Ride

2007-05-11T15:48:00.000-05:00

TV weather guru Sven Sundgaard hopped aboard the Jonathan Padelford Wednesday (May 9) morning for aThe Birding Boat Cruise with the U.S. National Park Service and Minnesota Audubon Society. Sven and the cast of birders aboard the Padelford were not disappointed as they spotted scores of song birds, a peregrine falcon and a majestic American Bald Eagle that swooped down almost on cue and snapped a fish right out of river before their eyes. The KARE Ch 11 photographer captured the sight and displayed the giant raptor's successful fishing adventure on the 6 p.m. newscast Thursday, May 17 as part of Sven's Simply Science segment. http://www.kare11.com/video/life/community/simplyscience/player.aspx?aid=47667&bw=

Passenger Barges Have Long History

2007-04-19T13:42:00.000-05:00

Memoirs from the Hysterical Historian

Passenger barges such as the Betsey Northrup are not new to the Mississippi River. In the early 1900s the Steamer Frontenac pushed a large excursion barge out of Winona, MN. The big excursion barges were extremely popular throughout the Mississippi and Ohio rivers in the 1800s and early 1900s.

A great feature of the excursion barge is that it is very quiet because it has no engines. The Betsey Northrup, which is pushed by the riverboat Anson Northrup or separately by the towboat Ugh the Tug, has been described as gliding over the water with the smooth, quiet elegance of a giant canoe.

Spring Has Sprung on The River

2007-04-16T21:52:00.000-05:00

I LOVE SPRING!!!

The birds are back singing until their little beaks ache. The drab browns and grays of crushed vegetation are yielding to lush green fields. And, the Mississippi River is running hard past our floating office. Best of all the Riverboat Season is underway.

Over the winter we installed a new bottom on the riverbarge Betsey Northrup. You won’t see the difference, but your feet won’t get wet either. And, we added a new sewage tank to the Betsey. You won’t see that either, but I guarantee that every passenger definitely will appreciate it.

You definitely will see the changes on the Jonathan Padelford. The crew worked all winter grinding, cutting, welding and now painting. They ripped all the railings off the second deck, ground 37 years of old paint off the decks and bulkheads (walls for you land lubbers) and completely remodeled the women’s head (water closet, bathroom, toilet, lu, potty, whatever). The pride of the Padelford fleet is undergoing a rebirth in 2007 and you’re going love it.

Speaking of birds, the Bald Eagles are back and our neighbor Anne Hunt reports that they are rebuilding their nest on the north side of the river in Crosby Park just east of the 35E Bridge (aka Lexington Ave. Bridge). She also spotted several pair of eagles at Pig’s Eye Lake. The big birds have been regular guests at Harriet Island all winter and are seen almost daily on our cruises up river through the Great River National Park.

Mews from Madeline, the Padelford Office Cat

2007-04-16T20:21:00.002-05:00

I’ve gotten to know many friendly humans, some noisy ducks, pesky swallows, and a few other interesting animals on Harriet Island since I arrived in Minnesota May 10, 1998.

Looking back I have the strange feeling that the human bean who put me into a cloth bag and threw me into the Mississippi River probably was no friend. I was very small, only a few weeks old at the time. I never saw my brothers and sisters again, but I did manage to claw my way out of the bag and onto the mud. After startling a turtle who immediately abandoned me, plopped into the river and vanished, I managed to crawl under a giant, blue steel staircase.

I was soaking wet, very cold and shaking terribly when these two giant humans thundered down the metal stairway where I was hiding from a nasty looking woodchuck who apparently was already living there. That annoyingly uncontrollable curiosity that so plagues my species forced me to peek out at the humans.

“Hey, look here,” exclaimed the big one called Jim. “It’s one of those baby beavers the boat crew saw last night.”

“Beaver, indeed. I’m no beaver!” I purred angrily, crawled out and puffed out my chest as much as a small feline can.

“No, no it’s a tiny kitten,” the small one called Shelley said softly as she reached down and lifted me from the mud. Her hand was warm and wonderful and she had such a kind, soothing voice I decided maybe all human beans aren’t so bad. I decided to take my chances with Shelley – at the very least her teeth weren’t as big as Woody the woodchuck who was beginning too seriously resent my visit under the blue stairway to the river.

Shelley carried me down into the riverboat company office where she got some paper towels and wiped most of the water and mud off my fur. She sent big Jim away and shortly he returned with a giant bag of kitten food, some milk and a bag of gray dirt. Wow! Maybe he’s not so such a bad guy either – I’ll have to keep an eye on him.

Next they brought in this soft, fuzzy blanket, put it on the floor and sat me on it. My very own bed, can you believe it? Big Jim also put a yellow plastic box filled with the gray sand into the bathroom. He carried me in there and rubbed my face in the sand. I guess these human beans aren’t as smart as they think they are – any dummy knows a litter box isn’t for your nose. I pretended to understand -- no sense embarrassing him when he was trying to be a good guy.

Suddenly it struck me – what’s wrong with this picture? This cannot be true. Only a few hours ago I was nearly dead and now suddenly animals from that same species that I hated so much were treating me like a queen. What’s the catch?

The next two years passed rather uneventfully, if you can call being trapped in a tiny office building on a barge in the Mississippi River with a bunch of riverboat captains, deck hands and office workers uneventful.

It seems that most of these macho riverboat captains didn’t dare admit that they like cats and several of them said some downright nasty things. Funny thing, though! At night and on the quite weekends during the winter months when they would appear alone to check the boats and barges they would talk silly, pet me and make sure I had enough food. Even Capt. Gus who was a proclaimed “cat hater” (YIKES, that is difficult even to think) was my pal when no one else was around.

But without a doubt my best friend in the whole world was Shelley. She became the mother I never knew. Although she is petite (by human bean standards), very quite and mild mannered she is strong and powerful in the office. Whenever someone threatened me she stepped in and that was the end of the threat. She bought me toys and special food, and she brushed me every day.

The only bad thing she ever did to me was the day she appeared with the tiny cage, pushed me inside, carried me out to her car and hauled me up to see this bean with a white coat. There were 13 other cats in this smelly building and they were mumbling something about the needle. I had no idea what that meant. Then suddenly the white coat bean appeared holding an enormous needle. She tried to sweet talk me into relaxing, but I knew this was not going to be a good thing. With the speed of a diving peregrine falcon she plunged the needle into my side. Surprisingly it wasn’t as bad as I had expected. She mumbled a few words to Shelley and we were off again in the car. I don’t know why she put me in that stupid cage.

Over the months I began to grow, and with little or no exercise I grew and grew and grew. Shelley even began to worry about my size. One day she sat me on the postage scale in the office and it rolled up to 14 pounds 11 ounces. “Wow! We need to put you on a diet and get some exercise,” she exclaimed.

Well, we tried running after the ball up and down the hallway for a couple days, but that got pretty boring real fast. Actually, most of my exercise came after the beans went home. Occasionally a bug would wander into the office and provide a pretty good game of hide and seek, but the most fun was when Malcolm, a gray little mouse, appeared. Malcolm thought he was pretty funny the first time we met. I was sound asleep on my fuzzy blanket when he crawled up from the underside of the barge and bit my tail. We raced up and down the hall, over the room dividers and into the front reservation office where Malcolm disappeared down a tiny hole in the corner near the riverside wall. Well, we replayed this routine once or twice a week. A couple times I actually caught Malcolm, but he was a pretty good guy and my only nighttime companion; so, I never harmed him. Although, I did warn him never to bite my tail again or I just might change my mind.

The office barge was an old U.S. Army Corps of Engineers Quartermasters Barge that was built in 1929 and by 1999 the old foundation timbers were beginning to rot. It probably didn’t help much that Malcolm and his family had ripped holes in the baseboard and built a huge network of tunnels for their home just under the floor in the building. So, over the next winter Capt. Gus and his crew built me a brand new home -- a gigantic office with many offices for me to roam throughout the night. It was great but nothing like being freed every morning by Capt. John to roam the park all day. Some of my best friends were three giant dogs and gray cat that strolled down most afternoons from a house up on Winifred St.

Human beans can’t really ever be trusted to be true friends, well, with the possible exception of Shelley, but I did make some pretty fine acquaintances over the years. Paul and Carolyn Verrett would come to visit me almost nightly. Every day during the summer hundreds of humans would come to see me and most of them then went for a riverboat ride. My human friends included Sen. Norm Coleman, Mayor Chris Coleman (no relation, apparently), and Don Shelby, a TV anchor (don’t know good of an anchor he would be inasmuch as he certainly isn’t big enough to hold one of the riverboats in place). People began to call me the queen of Harriet Island. I liked that a lot.

Then one day a strange human bean was visiting the park. I tried my best to be friendly but she took advantage of my kindness, scooped me up and threw me into the back of a big white van. The next thing I knew I was sitting in a cage more disgusting than anything the white coat at the vet clinic could even imagine. All around me were ugly cats and ferocious dogs, a very unpleasant lot to say the least.

After a terrible night suddenly Shelley appeared like an angel to rescue me. We returned to Harriet Island were all was good again until a few months later when it happened all over again. Dragged off to the “dog pound”, now tell me, why do they take a distinguished cat such as me to a place called the “dog pound?” It’s downright humiliating. I was totally embarrassed when Shelley came to my rescue again.

The next day I overheard Shelley and Big Jim whispering “we must do something! She just cannot keep going to the pound and it isn’t right to keep her penned up inside all the time.”

“Oh, oh,” I thought. “This is not good.”

I didn’t hear any more talk and had just begun to relax when Jim picked me up and dropped me into that infernal cage. “Here we go to see White Coat again,” I thought. “Hope there’s no needles.”

But to my shock Jim and Shelley grew quite sad, walked around the office showing me to all of the human beans and then handed me to Julie. She carried me up to her car and we traveled for hours. What can this mean? Where are we headed?

After many hours we arrived at a large place called a farm near the town of Waseca where Julie introduced me to another big man who she called Uncle Richard. He carried me out to an enormous red building where there were monstrously large animals called cows and at least 15 other cats. Well, I’m not terribly fond of cows or cats, so, I struck out on my own and found a rather nice smaller building that was home to many mice. None of the mice were nearly as friendly as Malcolm; so, I had no problem being a bit unkind to them.

At times I really miss the river and my best friend Shelley, but this truly is a great place where I can do anything I choose and roam freely day and night. I love the farm.

How Does a Gigantic Steel Riverboat Float?

2007-04-14T20:53:00.000-05:00

We all know that many objects actually will float on water, but a piece of steel will quickly sink to the bottom; so, how does a giant steel riverboat float? Actually it is the same reason that wood, Styrofoam or other items float - AIR.

Any material can be made to float if you can enclose air in a watertight space. Wood and other materials that seem to float "naturally" if viewed under a microscope will be seen to have many tiny watertight pockets of air embedded throughout their fabric.
To make a piece of steel (or aluminum foil) float you first must form it into a watertight shape that encloses air. The larger the watertight space the better your steel vessel will float.

Once you have mastered this step you are well on your way to building a boat. At this point you will begin to realize that a good riverboat captain better have a good background in mathematics. Mathematics is critical in determining the safety of the vessel and how much weight it can handle. Math also is required for plotting your course, but that is another lesson.

Before leaving the dock, a good captain must determine the "displacement" of the vessel. Displacement means how much water does the vessel displace or replace. You can find out how much your vessel weighs if you determine how much water it displaces when it settles into the water - measure how much of the vessel is under water. For example, if your vessel is 30 feet wide, 80 feet long and 4 feet deep in the water, the area of displacement is 30'x 80'x 4' = 9,600 cubic feet. One cubic foot of water weighs 62.4 lbs, thus your vessel weighs 9,600 x 62.4=599,040 lbs or 299.5 tons.

Using this method you also can determine how many one cent coins can be loaded into your aluminum foil vessel under ideal conditions. Obviously, you will want to convert the figures to inches and ounces. If you have some truly enthusiastic students who want to do the calculations for extra credit you could give them the weight of water for a cubic foot (62.4 lbs.) and see if they can figure out how to get the weight of a cubic inch. If they need some help, tell them there are 998.4 ounces (62.4 lbs. x 16 oz.) in a cubic foot of water and 1,728 cubic inches (12 x 12 x 12). Thus, a cubic inch of water weighs .578 oz. (998.4 oz. /1,728 cu. in. = .578). The other figure you need is the weight of a Lincoln cent coin --.11 ounces.

If they still need assistance tell them to measure the watertight area that is created inside the vessel they have created with their piece of aluminum foil. For example, if you have a 6" x 12" piece of foil and fold it in a square shape with 1" high sides you end up with a vessel that is approximately 4" wide x 10" long x 1" deep. In a perfect world the foil vessel would stay afloat until the weight of the vessel and its load equals the weight of the water that is displaced: 4" x 10" x 1" = 40 cubic inches x .578 oz. (the weight of one cubic inch of water) =23.12 oz. If you divide this displacement weight of 23.12 oz. by the weight of a penny (.11 oz.) you discover that under absolutely perfect conditions the maximum number of pennies you could load before your vessel sinks is 210. In actual practice it would be virtually impossible to do this because you most likely would not be able to distribute the load perfectly. Real vessels are required to have a substantial margin for error.

American Bald Peeps Return to St. Peeps

2007-04-14T19:48:00.000-05:00

NOTICE: No Peeps were harmed during creation of this diorama; OK, unless you count the Peeps eaten by Mrs Arneson’s kindergarten class at Stonebridge Elementary School in Stillwater. The Bald Peeps were expertly painted by my grand daughter Hannah Ferguson.

The annual northbound migration of the magnificent American Bald Peep is well underway along the Mississippi River flyway. These giant raptors began landing at Harriet Island Regional Park in downtown St. Peeps early this week.

Wally Cox, an expert Peeper, revealed that the soaring marshmallow fowl, after wintering in DeBary, FL, crossed the gulf coast to the mouth of the Mississippi where they entered the Passes, crossed over New Orleans and soared northward. Sadly, many of the winged confections melted into pastel blobs upon landing aboard a steel grain barge on one really hot spring afternoon 20 miles south of Baton Rouge.

The meltdown continued up river as unseasonably hot temperatures and the insatiable appetites of youngsters in Missouri and Illinois ravaged the flock.

Undaunted, nearly three dozen American Bald Peeps landed on the riverboat Jonathan Padelford March 10 and began preparations for a colorful spring season on the Upper Mississippi River.

The American Bald Peep is born with a distinctive yellow, pink, purple, green or blue appearance. During early years these colors create a very visible, attractive target for numerous predators. They are especially vulnerable to overactive kindergarten students. Sometime during year three they begin to take on the dark tones and shortly thereafter the distinctive white crown appears on their heads. Only one in 5,000 Peeps reaches adulthood.

Upon reaching adulthood Peeps become rock hard and will break the tooth of any human predator.